Monday, April 30, 2012

I'm Angry....

He was taken way to soon. I wish I could post on his facebook wall like everyone else, but I can't seem to find the right words. 
I miss him so much. 
I wish I could go back in time and be a better friend. I wish I had gone down to visit him when I was given the chance. 
BUT I can't. I'm angry because I was denied the chance to go see him, to be with him when he passed. It's not fair, I was all set to go down there on Friday and then Thursday night I was told I couldn't. He was my friend too. I should not have been denied. However, I will be attending the service for him. I don't care that its a 3 hour drive. I WILL be going. I need to go, I need the closure. 
I miss him so much. 

Sunday, April 29, 2012

Goodbye My Friend....

Today at 3:30 p.m. one of my very best friends passed away. I am heartbroken and angry. He was 35. Too young. He was one of the most caring sincere loving people I have ever known. He will be missed.

R.I.P. Paul, I love you and will miss you forever.

Saturday, April 28, 2012

Flower Girl Basket & Ring Bearer Pillow

My flower girl basket and ring bearer pillow. I absolutely LOVE them and only paid $15 for the set. The tag on the bottom of the pillow says Hobby Lobby so I can only imagine how much this set originally costed. Thank you Craigslist!

Thursday, April 26, 2012

My day....

Started at 6:30 a.m. Not good, I am so not a morning person. But today I had a reason. You see my dad isn't in the greatest of health. Recently we found out that he most likely has cancer. Today they wanted to do a biopsy on a spot  on his liver. But first they had/wanted to do a perintesis(forgive my terrible spelling) to make it easier to get to the liver. 
So back to my story, we got up super early drove to the hospital about 1/2 hour away and stayed by his side until they took him back. I love my dad so much and the thought of losing him makes me cry. The sad thing is we (meaning my dad and I) have a strong feeling about exactly whats going on with him. And it probably not good. The good thing? My dad is determined to make it to my wedding. He absolutely loves Scott and can't wait to meet his family. So much in fact that he wants to go to my bridal shower. And he will definitely be attending. I already saw to that. 
Anyways, they finished the procedures around 11ish and he was back in recovery by 11:30. Since they didnt put him to sleep, just concious sedation i believe, he was alert and laying on his stomach when we finally got to see him. Because of his various health problems we knew that he would be there for another 3 hours. Thankfully have 30 minutes he was able to move off his stomach. Thinking back, not the greatest idea. He sat up ate was cheery and so I decided it would be okay to go home. 
I'd only been home for maybe 1/2 hour or so when my sister called. She started our conversation with "Don't freak out but things have gone a little haywire" Turns out my dad had began to have severe pain and couldn't breath. The exact kind of pain we were told to bring him straight to the ER if he experienced it at home. This meant he was most likely bleeding internally from where they did the biopsy.
So it turns out that what should have been an outpatient procedure turned into an over nite stay and some pretty serious pain meds. My poor dad. He has been thru so much and now this. He lives with constant pain every day, goes to dialysis 3 times a week, is legally blind and diabetic. Just to mention a few things. 
They told us 2 business days before we would hear anything about the results. I'm not afraid to admit it but I am so scared. I'm not ready to lose my dad. I haven't had enough time with him. We spent many years not speaking and to this day I regret it. 
So if you made it this far, thank you for reading. I really needed to get this all off my chest. Its been a tough few weeks. I also found out last Friday that one of my best friends is on life support at a hospital in Tennessee, where he lives. He's not doing well at all and I am probably making a trip down there this weekend. I don't want to regret not seeing him and saying good bye if this is his time. 

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Bridesmaids Dresses

Keeping up with my current theme ;) I thankfully have a wonderful and talented mother who has agreed to make 3 dresses for my wedding. Which by the way is 88 days away!!! 
So without further ado I give you....
Isn't it pretty?? My matron of honors dress is a brown color and my 2 bridesmaids (my daughter & my matron of honors daughter) will be wearing a more fun pink and brown leopard print. I can't wait til they are done so I can show them off!!!
I'm so excited...

Sunday, April 22, 2012

My dress!

Isn't it pretty? The minute I laid my eyes on it I knew it was the one! Its perfect for our wedding too because its not traditional and we are having a very casual ceremony & reception. No tuxedos here!
On another note, I found out today that I am being given a bridal shower on May 19! I'm so excited, I was totally not expecting it but can't wait none the less!
Until tomorrow,

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Wedding Invitation

I'm so excited! I ordered our invitations last nite..I ended up ordering thru and got really nice ones for a decent price. So I thought I would pop in and show off our invitation!

Friday, April 20, 2012

92 days..

Until Scott & I get married!!!!
I'm so excited I can't wait!

So yeah, that's what I've been up to. Planning a wedding. Which is going extremely well...If only I could narrow down a dress for myself and wedding invitations.