I'm still here....

I know I haven't blogged in months. It's been a few crazy months....And I'm not sure when I will start blogging again. Right now I am dealing with looking for a place to live, Hayley going to her dad's on a regular basis, and just some other petty crap. But once I get things pulled back together I will be back. I promise.
I have so many things I want to blog about to....Hayley, my dad, the concert I went to...Tons of things....

Still alive...

LOL. I know its been a week and I feel terrible! But lately things have been falling apart on us. Last Thursday my engine in my car started knock, which we all know is never a good thing. So we took it in and they confirmed that it is blown...This sucks big time!!! We have no car and no means to obtain a new (used) one. There was one avenue but that did not pan out. Needless to say at this moment I feel very very betrayed...and hurt....But I am not going to get into that one!
Anyways, I am sure there is more I could say but I am exhausted, something else that has been lingering since we moved, and need to get to bed since I have to go to my mom's tomorrow to try and finish getting things moved. I promise to try and update again soon....
Sara

Its been a full week...

Since I last wrote. So much has been going on that I just simply have not had time to blog. In fact, some of what has been going on I can not blog about. I can say that my depression and anxiety has hit a very severe low..I am not okay. I have an appointment on Monday to help me. I think my medication is not doing its job.
So I figured I would just summarize everything I want to get down in a list...

• Bedtime in our house is a HUGE struggle right now. I can not get Hayley to fall asleep before 11 pm most nites. I think the solution is to start making her get up at the normal school time so that she is tired by bedtime.
• Scott and my relationship is doing very well, most days. Like all couples we have our moments but things are definitely going better and better. I don't know what I would do with out him..
• He has gotten me through some pretty intense days lately.
  
• My sister called last nite. Our dad had a dr. appointment yesterday to find out the results of some testing they had done on his heart. It turns out at some point he had a heart attack in the lower part of his heart. It has caused scarring and they need to do more tests to figure out what to do next.
  
• Hayley broke my camera 2 days ago. I am deeply sadden by this as now I do not have a camera and it will take a few weeks to get it repaired. I hope its back in time for some upcoming events.
  

I am sure there is more but its 4:30 am and I have some stuff I need to get done before I head to bed. So I will try and write again soon. Though, Hayley and my mom are going away for the weekend and Scott is going to be here the whole time so I doubt I will have much computer time!!!
Sara

My Poor Head....

Yes, my poor poor head. I have had a migraine for 5 days now. Most days I can still function but still deal with the pain, twice now I have been in the emergancy room. The first time my mom took me in they gave me an IV, bruised both of my hands in the process, and then sent me home. Last nite they have me an IV, bruised me in 2 places in the process. They added a new medication this time. Something to reduce swelling in the brain. They also did a cat scan. Which came back fine. They did tell me that this migraine is stress related, due to issues that I am currently going thru involving Nate.
The short of that story is that he decided that he doesn't want to be a part of Hayleys life any more. She is devistated!! As am I! I don't know how this is going to affect her in the long run but hopefully she comes out of it a stronger person. Please pray she does.
However, I am going to wrap this up the computer is tough for me when I'm in pain!
Sara

Camping

So Hayley and I are camping...Woohoo for free wifi!! Its going okay. Its been way tougher than I thought....I thought it would be awesome but it's not. I have been ignored since yesterday. And its driving me nuts. HE is the reason I am here right now. Because HE wanted me to, I should have just followed my instincts and stayed home. Should have ended it the last time I had a chance to, such as the last time we got together. Incidentally I didn't want to do it then. I just wanted to do HIM! LMAO. Oh well, life goes on. Not like we really have a relationship anyways.
The good part is I met someone. Him I can talk about LOL. His name is Scott...And he is beautiful, and shy, and everything I was looking for. And the best part is he doesn't have a girlfriend or a wife. No more secret relationships for me. He knows that I'm married, and that I haven't filed for divorce yet. And speaking of divorce, I am going to file probably next week. I know that I told Nate I would wait but I can't. He doesn't get that honor. He fucked up by not contacting me in a week. No phone calls, no NOTHING. So screw him! By the end of July, beginning of August I will be divorced, AGAIN. And darn it, I don't think I will ever get married again. Two failed marriages is enough for me thank you very much.
Anyways, the sky looks a little dark, I sure hope it doesn't rain....my tent leaks lol. Speaking of tents..The top of my tent is missing, I think its possibly locked in the storage unit. So Mom went and bought a tarp yesterday and that seems to be working. Hayley wants me to take her back to the pool and I am thinking I might.
Suddenly it got really cold....I'm cold darn it. I need to go to the store because Hayley killed the batteries in the flashlight last nite and its the only one we have.
So until next time,
Sara